Kindness.

By definition kindness means;

 "kind·ness

ˈkīn(d)nis/

noun

1. 1.

   the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate."
   
   
   Most people think they are kind, or know they are kind.  I feel as though people are always reaching out thinking that if they give, they will receive. "What goes around, Comes around right?" No. It does not work out that way. When you are grateful, you receive, all the time. But when you do nice things in the mind set of  "well, now they owe me one!" or "I will get good karma for this! it never works out in your favor.
   
   Kindness can not be expected. When I read the words in Buddhism books like "The art of happiness",  I get the feeling that kindness is its own kind of suffering. We all know the feeling of not being appreciated, or feeling like no one sees our genuine effort. Sometimes our actions can feel so in-vain. Especially when trying to be kind to the closest people around us, and hell; WE ARE HUMAN. Its perfectly normal to feel as though you are not enough, and to be honest; if each of us were enough, we would have nothing left in our lives to improve... and when you look at the world around you, you know that to be untrue. We could all be better.  Kindness is suffering, When we try to help someone needy on the street, do you really expect to be paid back? I wish we could look at it that way. Friends and Family take advantage, but when you help a stranger smile, give them money for food (or beer.) just passing them on the street, how do you feel for the next couple of seconds?...
   
   Kindness hurts, its not about self preservation, its not about What ever god might smight you down for your actions, its not about whats coming to you. Its about doing the right thing. Helping the weak become strong, lifting the spirit of a lonely person, encouraging a failure to try one more time. Its about accepting the times you don't get a "thank you", and knowing you there will be people who hurt you, that will never say sorry. But if they do, you need to appreciate the universe telling you; "you were right".
   
   Kindness is reaching out to the friendless, and the misunderstood and listening. Sometimes kindness is being by your self when you feel angry at the universe- Just to calm down and find clarity.  If you are a part of this club, kindness is often loneliness, Feeling like you are the only one who cares about not rocking the boat, or feeling that no one understands your need to be friendly.
   
   But there is one thing that makes it all worth it. When you are kind, when you give freely and love with your whole heart. When you see the suffering of others and reach out to them. When you do your best not to cause confrontation, and understand all sides, when you see people as individuals instead of a group stereotype. Your heart feels good.
   
   "The Kind Club" is open to all new members, You can be kind all time, not only to yourself but to others around you. Its so easy to be nice. Now I am not telling you this, to change your life or turn you into some saint that never gets angry or hurt by others. I am telling you this because when you make someone smile, when you devote your self to understanding. To make people smile, to be friendly and open. You will see your kindness ten fold.
   
   There are still grateful people out there.
   And when I see gratitude in someone's eyes. My pain. my suffering, my angst, Goes out the window.
   I restored someone's faith in humanity, if only for a couple seconds... They smiled and saw something better. If they can change their attitude so can I.
   
   Generosity is something that kindness amplifies, its not about giving all your pay check to a charity, Or donating to Toys for Tots every Christmas, its about giving when you can when you can, making dinner for someone who has helped you out, making time for someone who is there for you. Calling to check up on someone who you have not heard from in a while. Its about encouraging a friend who is struggling, and if they are a "Real" friend, at some point they have done this for you.
   
   Being considerate is part of kindness, but I think it should be morally instilled in all of us. In a world that is constantly changing with people becoming less and less social, it is our job to remind the world that you still help old ladies cross the street, and open the door for those behind you.
   
   Being Friendly is part of kindness, but I think it plays a deeper roll than "My name is Ashley, want to be friends" When you are friendly, you are approachable. As I get older I find more and more that this quality is my most wonderful asset. People come to me with problems; wanting advice. People come to me looking for a place to vent or to express concerns. Though I don't know everything, I wish I did. Maybe my advice is not always the best, and maybe I can be a bit passive, but if I can help someone with a "moment of clarity" or boost the self esteem of someone who is feeling bad about them selves, They will return that kindness to me. Its happened a thousand times in my life. Without those moments and connections I have made with people because of kindness, I would not be writing this today.
   
   Then there is kindness that is bad for you, Be kind to your self first. Know what is best for you in the end. When people are overly passive and giving, I call it irresponsible kindness. Don't give up your whole world for the welfare of one individual. Unless you are a parent, your one responsibility is to live a happy life and to understand the value of things, not the price. If you are a parent, its your responsibility to teach your children kindness, and tolerance and to provide a loving example. To show them that there is still magic wonder and loving people out there. This world can be a scary place with out kindness.
   
   So be kind, to yourself, to others.
   The feeling you get when you are kind, is all the satisfaction you can ask or hope for. When you know what you are doing is right, and you know what you are doing is improving the world around you, the act no matter how small goes unappreciated.
   
   Thank you to all the people in my life who are continuously generous and kind. Who give me advice and pick me up when I fall. I would not be here with out the kindness of others. I love you, and I am so eternally grateful to have so many people on my side, who believe I can do it, even when I can't. I have felt like I have failed a lot as of late, but I have a wonderful support system and constant reminders that I am loved.